Maybe you have heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. The basic premise being that there are basic needs that need to be met first – like water, food, shelter, warmth – before the next set of needs (safety and security) can be considered.
After safety and security is belonging (love and connection), then self esteem / accomplishment and finally self-actualisation – becoming everything you can.
Although he later amended the rigidity of his structure, this model is missing the Yin and Yang that often goes with human needs. Things don’t always develop in a linear or pyramid structure.
What do I mean by that?
Well, take security/safety/comfort for example. One of the brains main concerns is to keep you safe. Because, of course, if you die, it dies! And so people get into a comfort zone and they can get stuck there.
But after a while of being in a comfort zone, one of the other human needs kicks in – the need for change. Now this is powerful evolutionary need. How has the human race evolved over just a few thousand years, while previous cycles of world evolution lasted for millions of years?
Because of the human need for change.
And all the time we are in our comfort zone, we are not growing – we are just in a holding pattern. And that’s fine, but at some point it becomes boring and unsatisfying and we feel the need for a new Challenge, a new relationship, a new job, a new house, aa new life.
So, then the decision is, do you actually make a permanent change, or do you just temporarily change your state?
What many people do is go for the temporary change in state. They turn to something that will make them feel better in the moment. You can achieve that by thinking about it. You can imagine winning the lottery. Or you can use alcohol, shopping, a cigarette, drugs, a workout at the gym, a phone call with a friend, for example. Some of those are better for you than others, but all achieve a temporary change in state.
The difficulty of making a permanent change.
Here’s the thing. Initially when you think of making a change it seems great. It seems the thing to do. You imagine being slimmer, or richer, or happier, or living somewhere in the sun – whatever it is.
But the more you think about it, the more you start to consider the difficulties, the perceived barriers, the pains. You think about having to ‘live on a lettuce leaf’ for 6 months, or you think of working 18 hour days to get a business off the ground, or you think of what OTHER people will say (negatively) about your idea.
Or you think of the money involved as a cost rather than as an investment in the future you. And so the Change becomes too Uncertain.
And so you go back to what you know – your comfort zone, your safety, your certainty.
So – How Can You Make A Permanent Change?
You need to keep focused on the prize. You have to look at the outcome you want, and not all the hurdles along the way. The outcome you want needs to be MUCH better and brighter than what you have now, or your brain won’t see it as ‘worth the effort’.
Of course, it helps if you have a coach and a bunch of similarly motivated people to keep you on track. It helps if you surround yourself with people who have already made the change that you want to make, or are on the journey to making it.
That’s why I created the Professional Speakers Academy, to give people on their journey to changing their lives, the support, community and coaching – or in other words THE CERTAINTY – they need while making the changes they desire in their lives.
For more information about our free and paid events, our University and Academy or our webinars and online training programmes go to www.andyharrington.com